Psychotherapist and Difficult Conversations Expert Rachel Whalley, LMHC, MA, MFA, teaches corporate climbers and business owners how to get clear of their caretaking and conflict-avoidance and start leading the brilliant lives they are meant to live. Trusted by clients and fans as a therapist who walks her talk, Rachel helps visionaries and peace-seekers find their emotional center in the midst of inner turmoil. Through her Self-Rescue System™, women learn how to recognize the warning signs of inner panic, create easy-to-remember strategies and declare themselves as powerful collaborators and leaders.
Creator of the Self-Rescue System™, a simple, powerful strategy for how to deal with disagreements and difficult conversations without losing your ground or your cool.
Author of the forthcoming book, Woman Overboard: Six Ways Women Avoid Conflict and One Simple Method to Speak Up with Confidence.
Rachel is a Certified Systemic Constellations Facilitator, an EFT practitioner, and a licensed mental health counselor in Washington state. For the last three years, she also has been assisting Dr. Jay Earley in creating a massive online self-help application called Self-Therapy Journey.
Hey there, I’m Rachel Whalley, and I am a recovering “Good Girl.”
I know what it’s like to feel stuck in the Good Girl trap. I thought I was pretty healthy and put together–really most of my life seemed like it was going great. I had a house, a husband, a career I loved, great friends and pretty good health.
And at the same time, I felt limited. I avoided conflict at all costs, and I convinced myself that my needs were only my own problem; I shouldn’t bother anyone else with them.
Then a great friendship imploded, and my marriage followed suit within a year.
When I went looking for what part I played in the trouble, I saw that I’d been holding my real feelings and needs back. I hadn’t been speaking up when things weren’t okay. I’d been stuffing my resentment, or even trying to “work it out on my own.”
I’m here to say now–that does NOT work.
I suddenly realized that my attachment to being a Good Girl–the sort of woman who would never fight with a friend or her husband–was toxic to my relationships.
I read all I could get my hands on about this issue and went through some intensive personal healing around it. I’m able to step confidently into situations of conflict, as well as express all my needs with great compassion…in any circumstance.
Now I can see that Good Girl behavior is epidemic, among my clients AND the greater populations of women I see everywhere. I’m so grateful for my own awakening because now I can help other women wake up to how they’ve been repressing themselves and their true, deep yearnings.
The credentials: I got my Masters in Applied Behavioral Science from the Leadership Institute of Seattle (LIOS) at Bastyr University. I also have an MFA from the University of Florida, and a BA from the University of Washington. I am a Licensed Mental Health Counselor Associate (LMHCA). I am also a Certified Systemic Constellations Facilitator, credentialed by the Seattle Constellations Institute.
My primary counseling method is Internal Family Systems (IFS), which is a way of building relationship with all personality aspects (even the angry, shadowy, and shameful ones) and healing childhood wounds so they no longer trigger in the present moment.
I absolutely love my work. My philosophy is best described in the Ram Dass quote,
“We are all just walking each other home.”
My clients often comment on feeling safe with me. They appreciate that I don’t ever judge them or put myself “one above” them.
I figure that it’s taken a village to teach me what I know now; what I do is pass along this wisdom and the energy of loving kindness that has been gifted to me. It means more than I can say that I get to help wonderful people toward a deeper sense of themselves–to give them the gift of more presence, self-love, and belonging in the world.
Call me at 425-444-0620 or email firstname.lastname@example.org.